I’ve often squeaked of my hometown, Ratlanta, located in the heart of America’s Deep South. If you’ve never visited, I encourage you to do so! It’s a squeaktacular place to be. And when you come, I recommend skipping the traditional bike and Segway and driving tours and just take a shortcut like we rats do – via the sewers.
Of course the sewers are the most efficient means of scuttling around! Our city is beyond well known for the fleadiculous traffic gridlock you humans endure, and odds are if you’re trying to get from Point A to Point B via the traditional routes, you’ll be squeak outta luck. Besides, with the record rainfall the city got last year that blockage under Fourth Street has been clear for months.
While you’re here there are a lot of great things to see. At least, I’m told they’re great to see: rats have poor eyesight and rely mostly on our muzzles to sense the world, and I like what I smell at these places. A trip to the Georgia Aquarium is pawsome, especially the dog shark tank, because they eat the catfish. Also sniff out the gold dome of the Georgia State capitol. Yes, it really is painted in gold mined from the North Georgia Mountains. I suggested they paint the dome with cheese, but melted roofs are no Gouda and Georgia summers do get very hot. Satisfy your rumbly tumbly with a wiener from the world’s oldest hot dog conveyer belt at the Varsity (you know how I like dogs); I recommend the cheese nachos as a side dish. And finally, end your day at my favorite rattraction: Underground Ratlanta. Any place that recognizes the pawsomeness of the rat-dwelling underworld is magnifleacent in my book. Besides, if you get there via my suggested route, you won’t even have to climb to get to street level!
I hope you do come to Ratlanta – as the name squeaks, it’s a rat-tastic place to be! And do please give consideration to a sewer tour, because if you don’t you’ll probably end up in that infamous traffic gridlock all day long.
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob
Of course the sewers are the most efficient means of scuttling around! Our city is beyond well known for the fleadiculous traffic gridlock you humans endure, and odds are if you’re trying to get from Point A to Point B via the traditional routes, you’ll be squeak outta luck. Besides, with the record rainfall the city got last year that blockage under Fourth Street has been clear for months.
While you’re here there are a lot of great things to see. At least, I’m told they’re great to see: rats have poor eyesight and rely mostly on our muzzles to sense the world, and I like what I smell at these places. A trip to the Georgia Aquarium is pawsome, especially the dog shark tank, because they eat the catfish. Also sniff out the gold dome of the Georgia State capitol. Yes, it really is painted in gold mined from the North Georgia Mountains. I suggested they paint the dome with cheese, but melted roofs are no Gouda and Georgia summers do get very hot. Satisfy your rumbly tumbly with a wiener from the world’s oldest hot dog conveyer belt at the Varsity (you know how I like dogs); I recommend the cheese nachos as a side dish. And finally, end your day at my favorite rattraction: Underground Ratlanta. Any place that recognizes the pawsomeness of the rat-dwelling underworld is magnifleacent in my book. Besides, if you get there via my suggested route, you won’t even have to climb to get to street level!
I hope you do come to Ratlanta – as the name squeaks, it’s a rat-tastic place to be! And do please give consideration to a sewer tour, because if you don’t you’ll probably end up in that infamous traffic gridlock all day long.
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob
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