Pirat

 
Ahoy mateys, Buccaneer Bob here! ’Tis be International Talk Like a Pirate Day – make that International Squeak Like a Pirat Day, and rats everywhere be markin’ the occasion (an’ sometimes their territory) by loudly squeakin’ our favorite letter: Arrr! (You know, Arrr = R, for Rat.)
 
We rodents have a long history o’ farin’ the fair seas, though the seas do be dark, ’cause they’re in the sewers. Things can get particularly pawful when the weather be a-brewin’, which happens when the city above has a gully-washer o’ rain an’ it rushes down the grates. When the seas – er, sewer waters – be rough, it’s all paws on deck until the hatches be battened down. And dare not a crewrat fall into the drink, because as you know, dead rats squeak no tails!
 
Squeak Like a Pirat Day be pawsitively piratical, if you ask me, and though remembrin’ some o’ our pirats’ scurvy past be shiv’rin’ me whiskers, it’s easy sailin’ these days. So hoist the sails, mates, and full scuttle ahead!
 
Fair winds to ye,
Bob