Sunday, August 25, 2013

A-B-C’s and 1-2-Fleas

 
By now, where I live most pups are back in school, or will return this week. Getting my own octuplets back into the rhythm of another ratcademic season wasn’t easy – it seems they’re no less eager to study Ratin now than they were this time last year. My wife, Bobette the Mouse, has begun the unenviable daily battle that is getting them out of the nestlet and their whiskers well groomed on time. And with all their energy pent up in starch molecules, it’s no wonder that our rats + mice = rice hybrid offspring consider fleacess their favorite school activity!
 
Pressing the importance of the three R’s – that’s Ratty, Rodent, and Roquefort, of course – onto the willful minds of my little ones is indeed a tall order for a short rat like me! I squeak them that I certainly don’t expect them to have their muzzles in a book all the time, nor do I expect them to be the voledictorian of their class. But as long as they give good effort and end up pawductive citizens of society, they’ll always be cheese whizzes to me.
 
If your own pups are starting back to school soon, you have my sympafleas! Do know that, all too soon, these days of A-B-C’s and 1-2-Fleas will come to an end, and you’ll have your own cheese whizzes on your paws. So until next year’s summer months scuttle in, squeak your pups to keep their teeth to the cheese wheel, and make sure their muzzles get stuck in those books at least pawcasionally!
 
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob

Friday, August 9, 2013

Cheesy Jokes 2


As you well know by now, I am one cheesy rat. So in case you didn’t get enough from last time, here are more cheesy jokes to tickle your punny bone!
 
Why don’t rats like going to the coast in late August? It’s furricane season.
 
What’s a rodent’s favorite dessert? Mice cream!
 
Why did they consider the mouse a connoisseur of cheese? He was a real curd nerd.
 
Why did the rat love cheesecake so much? He had a sweet incisor.
 
Why did the rodent have such a good night on the town? He had Raturday Night Fever.
 
Why was the rat such a whiz at card games? It was impossible to read his pawker face.
 
How did the rodent avoid time in the pawnitentiary? He made a quick fleascape.
 
What do you call a pup who won’t stop telling on others? A rattle-tale.
 
Why did the mouse want to meet the famous actress? He wanted her pawtograph.
 
What is Shakespaw’s most famous quote? To brie or not to brie.
 
Why couldn’t the rodent divulge what he knew? He was sworn to squeakrecy.
 
Who was the mightiest mythological Greek flearo? Furcules!
 
What do you call hopelessly ruffled fur? A fashion fleamergency.
 
How do you thank a Hispanic rat? Say, “Gratcias!”
 
How can you keep each day interesting? Remember that variety is the mice of life!
 
Until the next round of cheesy jokes comes to tickle that punny bone of yours, keep it tuned to Bob’s Blogs for flea-bitten funnies in poetry and prose!
 
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob