Monday, October 4, 2010

Fat Rat, Flat Rat

 
At long last, after record-setting summer high temperatures and the longest stretch of September days reaching into the 90s or above that Ratlanta has seen in decades, autumn weather has finally come upon us. With the new season comes a crisp, cool touch to the air, as well as the reinvigoration of exercise gurus everywhere who had been forced to stay inside, lest they spontaneously combust (or, if they’re made of rubber like me, melt into a bubbling pool of goo) in the stifling Georgia heat.
 
It’s this sudden drop in temperatures to tolerable levels, combined with the Obamacare legislation that seems to be on everyone’s mind, that I turn to the idea of getting – and staying – in shape. My corpulent rat pal, Gus, to whom I introduced you last week, has one thing to squeak about this: “I am in shape! Round is a shape!” Somehow I don’t think Gus’s veterinarian approves of this point of view.
 
On the opposite end of the spectrum is another rodent friend of mine, Slim, who, if you were to look at him head on, would seem to vanish into thin air: all you’d see is this barely visible line with a few whiskers sticking out on either side of his face. I swear, Slim must literally be two-dimensional! Gus, on the other hand, encompasses dimensions that seem to grow exponentially with each passing day. Neither of them seems to be able to find a happy medium.
 
So with the turning of the seasons, I hope you are able to brush the dust off your whiskers, go outside, and have some fun. Try to find the balance that eludes my ratty comrades, and most of all, get out there and make a friend or two. Just try not to force your fitness-crazed friend onto the friend who thinks that jogging shoes make the perfect nestlet until you’ve known the both of them for a while; to do so would lead to a conflict in wills that’s more volatile than the propensity of an athlete to spontaneously combust in the middle of July!
 
Until next time, be happy and medium.
 
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob

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