Bob’s Jobs: Sewer Inspector

   
So far I’ve told you a lot about my leisure activities; now I’d like to tell you about my gainful employment. Not surprisingly, knowing my way around the underground, as you may imagine I inspect sewers. Quite a dirty way to make a living, but it brings home the bacon – er, make that cheese crumbs.
 
Working in the sewers is great because I get to see a lot of my friends, who make this grimy slice of heaven their home, every day I go to my job. However, you might be surprised to know that cockroaches are as prevalent as rats in the sewer. We rats have to scoop out our space in the sludge with the creepy critters, but we usually have the upper paw, because we’ll eat anything, including them.
 
The other day my team and I at Sludge-Be-Gone, the best sewer inspection company in Ratlanta, were on-site for a sewage backup under Fourth Street. Trudging through the poo and goo and things that make you go eew, my crew traced the problem to schmoo from the loo in a house on Highpoint View. Not shirking back from our dooties, we got straight to work, hauling in our ultimate sewage-cleaning tool: the Super Duper Pooper Scooper. We scraped and scrubbed and sucked that muck until the place was clean, and while some would have declared the site a biohazardous wasteland, we who were fearless, in the end (the rear end, that is), prevailed against the poo.
 
If you have a propensity for getting dirty and don’t mind crawling waist-deep in waste, we’ve got a job waiting for you at Sludge-Be-Gone. And to help you along I’ve written some words of encouragement. I present to you the Poo Poem:
  

Climbing through the grime and slime might not be that sublime,
Cleaning dumps from people’s rumps may not be worth your time,
But if you’re brave and not a knave then don’t go mow the lawn,
Your gloves put on and scrub the john until that poo is gone!
 
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob