For days Ratlanta has been trapped in the vice grip of an unsqueakable heat wave, finally setting an all-time record high of 106 degrees yesterday afternoon. It was so hot, in fact, that I decided to fry an egg on the proverbial rock – and nearly melted my rubber fur off in the process!
After almost becoming the makings of a new tire, I decided to find some ways to keep cool. First I took a stroll down into the sewer, thinking that a location that never sees the sun must surely be a cool place to be. But alas: the waters trickling down from the city streets above had been scalded by the reflected heat of the black asphalt, and turned out to be hotter than that egg-fried rock!
Then I decided to sneak into the fridge at a house nearby, capitalizing on the pawportunity to nip a snip of cheese while I was there. But when I was discovered in the bottom of the icebox, crouching with my snack between the salami and leftover green beans, I worked up such a sweat dodging the broom that lady was trying to whack me with that it undid all the good of my cool-down!
Finally, in a last-ditch effort to find some relief from this fleadiculous hot weather, I went for broke and paid a visit to my friend John, a naked mole rat who lives nearby. Because John resides permanently underground, his need for fur is negated – as is his need to drop his drawers when using the bathroom (hence his name). And though I find my ratty friend’s clawdacity to scuttle around in the buff more than a tad disturbing, at that point I was out of pawptions!
So while I spend the next few days chilling in the underground nude beach, I hope you can find ways to keep cool in this flealentless heat. And if you do have to go outside, remember to wear a hat – you don’t want your whiskers singed!
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob
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