Being a rat, I’ve come across some shady characters in my day. Thankfully I’ve steered clear of a life of grime, but unfortunately law-breaking isn’t just a human problem. We of course have our drug dealers, who push ratnip like it’s cheesecake; the ’hood rats, whose favorite (and very dangerous) game to play is Shoots and Ratters; and the snitching ratfinks, who are the most hated of all.
Probably the most common crime in the rodent community is theft. It traverses all classes of society, from poverty-stricken street rats to high-on-the-groundhog aristocrats. You humans may have seen animals steal each other’s food on nature shows. (Apparently they didn’t learn their “nice mice” etiquette as pups!) The thing most coveted among these rat burglars: cheese crumbs, which is the rodent form of currency.
Rat burglars, however, should go on high alert, because sooner or later their life of grime will ensnare them in a mousetrap, and they’ll be hearing the pawlice squeak, “Put up your paws!” And what with the ensuing clawsuits and fleadiculous rattorneys’ fees, they’ll soon find out that their stolen cheese crumbs won’t bail them out, and that grime doesn’t pay.
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob
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