Julius Cheeser

 
Today is the Ides of March, an important day in ancient rodent history. This day marks the death of one of the most famous authoratarians of all time, Julius Cheeser.
 
Known for his conquest of the Roman Republic, establishment of the Roman Empire, and introducing Romano cheese to the masses, Cheeser initially shared Roman rule with two fellow senrators, Cratsus and Pawmpey, in the empire’s first Triumvirat.
 
But unfurtunately Cheeser was no stranger to making others mad. He wasn’t exactly burrow broken (if you catch my drift) and had many more offspring than a monogamous rat like me would bear. He also had a pawful skirmish with pirats as a pup. It didn’t end well for the scalawags, though, because Cheeser made sure that dead rats squeak no tails. Eventually he incurred the wrath of the aratstocracy when he fashioned himself Rome’s autocrat.
 
Thus Cheeser was scuttling along like nice mice until 44 B.C. today, when conspirator Brutus and some fellow Roman senrators sent Cheeser to the great burrow in the sky. (With a blade he was betrayed when Brutus cut the cheese.)
 
Now, in addition to their A-B-Cs and 1-2-fleas, rat pups have this historical figure to learn about in their ratcademics. But when school recesses in the hot days of summer they become thankful for one last culinary contribution of Cheeser’s: you see, the orange in Orange Julius is really for cheese.
 
Keepin’ it squeak,

Bob