High on the ’Hog

  
Alas, it’s here: the most famous of all rodent pawlidays, when even you humans pay homage to the greatness of our portion of the animal kingdom. Of course I’m squeaking – er, speaking – of Groundhog Day, when everyone looks to the groundhog to see if we’ll soon feel the sun kisses of spring or be locked in six more frozen weeks of winter.
 
As is widely known, Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil is the most famous weather predictor (a Prognosticator of prognosticators, as it were), but there are other groundhogs around the world that help Phil shoulder his weather-predicting burden. One of these lesser-known rodents is Phil’s twin brother, Bunxsutawney Bill. Some look at Bill with suspicion – perhaps it’s because most everyone looks at bills with suspicion – but I think Bill may be brushed aside because, in contrast to his groundhog brother, he is a woodchuck. Eh, sometimes the genes fall that way.
 
Bill, however, gives us great relief, because his talent is prognosticating the end of summer and a return to fall’s cool temperatures. Of course, summer is great – days spent lounging by the pools of water in the sewer and chomping cheesecake bites to beat the heat – but when the mercury rises as high as it did last year I’m ready to see October! So don’t woodchuck his talents away!
 
Perhaps one more thing should be squeaked – er, said: woodchucks and groundhogs are the same critter. It’s true! (As a fellow rodent, take my squeak for it.) I have it on good pawthority that Bill and Phil met in squeakrecy last night to plan their prognostication proclamation. Disseminated by computer mice early this morning, here it is for rodent and human alike:
 

Like weather, like life: not everything’s straight,
Not easy to know or anticipate.
But just as appearances aren’t always as seemed
Good things can come wrapped in ways you’ve not dreamed.
And so to ye faithful, from Phil and from Bill,
We foresee good temps, not roasting or chill
But keep you together, stay close at all times
And weather life in all sorts of its climes.

 
Happy Groundhog/Woodchuck Day,

Bob