Fond of Fondue

  

 
It’s no secret that I’m pawfully fond of food, and I’ve squeaked of some of my fine dining experiences in the past. Recently I took my squeaktacious spouse, Bobette the Mouse, on a romantic rodent date to an upscale fondue restaurant. Now, you might be concerned about rats scuttling around places humans dine. Let me assure you: we rodents are more concerned about our tails accidentally falling into a fondue pot of sizzling oil. To be safe for all parties, I made reservations ahead of time for our own little corner in the back—close to the scullery, of course, wherein we might find some fallen scraps.
 
The best thing about fondue restaurants is that most begin the meal with a cheese fondue pot. This was certainly the case at our restaurant, but we made some ratty alterations to the menu. While you humans enjoy dipping foods like bread and vegetables into your cheese fondues, Bobette and I enjoyed things like old banana peels, some little chunks of drywall, and, for health purposes, the occasional seed or nut. Our second course differed too: instead of the meats and sizzling broth or oil you bipeds consume, our pot was filled with—you guessed it—more cheese. And for dessert, of course we had the chocolate cheesecake fondue with rancid cherries for dipping.
 
One of the challenges of many fondue restaurants, as any of you who have been to one likely knows, is that they can cost a pretty cheese crumb. But when you have someone special in your life like I do, whether your relationship is romantic or not, some events are worth saving up for. So before we departed, I spent a few more crumbs to have the staff squeak Bobette a special serenade song I scratched out for the occasion. It went a little something like this:
 
The four types of cheese came out steamy and hot
As we both crouched around our nice big fondue pot.
 
The garbage was great and the cherries so sweet
That it made us both squeak, “This tops all-you-can-eat.”
 
I saved up my crumbs so we’d come to this place,
Bow our snouts to the ground and o’er cheese squeak God’s grace.
 
The fondue, of course, was as good as can be
The cheddar, the Swiss, Colby-Jack, and the brie.
 
Life is grand on a night on the town with your spouse
Whether she (or wh’er he) is a human or mouse.
 
She is sure worth to me a spare cheese crumb or two,
’Cause I’m fond of my wife and I’m fond of fondue.
  

Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob