With the recent rains in Ratlanta flushing blockages in the sewers away (even that particularly large one under Fourth Street), my fellow sewer inspectors and I at Sludge-Be-Gone have had trouble sniffing out work. Indeed, it seems like the only foul aromas drifting our way are emanating from the odiferous colonies of muskrats who reside in the city zoo. So we’ve been forced to change our specialty to cleaning out dumpsters. Fortunately the nastiness therein still fits the word “Sludge” in our company’s title, so that’s ratical.
Problem is, cleaning out dumpsters isn’t nearly as lucrative as mucking out sewers, mainly owing to the fact that dumpsters are much smaller than the miles of leaky pipes underground. I’ve had to take a 75% cut in my cheese crumb salary, and that’s making it a little difficult to feed my brood. My wife, Bobette the Mouse, and our Rats + Mice = Rice hybrid octuplets, Harry, Larry, Barry, Jerry, Mary, Sherry, Kerry, and Terry, are taking it in stride, but as the family provider I feel like it’s cutting into my self-esteem as a husband and father.
Because of this I recently decided to take a second job as a fry cook at a Chinese restaurant. Doing so has had several benefits: (1) I’ve been able to boost my cheese crumb income; (2) access to their dumpster has scuttled up more business at Sludge-Be-Gone; and (3) I’ve become adept at making Cream of Sumyung Cat. Not bad for a ratty day’s work.
So even in the midst of the economic recession and the clog-clearing, sewer-robbing rains frequenting Ratlanta (we’re expecting another pawful round of storms tonight), I have reason to look at the bright side: not only am I able to provide for my family and have a little fun doing it, I now also have a new dumpster-cleaning branch of services I can offer at Sludge-Be-Gone.
Until next blog, stay pawsitive and squeaktacularly rat-tastic.
Keepin’ it squeak,Bob
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