The summer months have arrived at last! With it comes sunshine, scuttles to the beach, and no shortage of scraps left from humans’ backyard barbeques. Unfurtunately, summer also brings the itch. In several past blogs I’ve mentioned my disdain of fleas and mosquitos, so this year I decided to search in earnest for a pest control solution. (No, I don’t mean a solution to myself! How could you even think that rats are pests? Holy hairballs!)
First I tried the vinegar bath suggested by a Google search. I made the mistake of doing so while my human family was cooking dinner. Big Burly Pop knocked over the dill weed by mistake, and I ended up smelling like pickled rodent. Repulsive to fleas and mosquitos for sure, but also to me. After all, I like eating food, not smelling like food!
Next I tried that solar-powered ultrasonic pest-repellant device. I don’t know about the fleas or mosquitos, but it rattled my incisors so much that I knew I’d be visiting the rodentist faster than Speedy Gonzales can squeak “Andale!” if I kept it around! So that method got tossed out of the burrow.
After that I yanked one of those super-fine-toothed combs through my fur to pull the little guys out. I don’t think I removed any bugs, but I did end up looking like the rodent version of Tina Turner!
Then one of my hippie hamster friends recommended some essential oils. He blended me a batch of peppermint, thyme, and basil oils and stirred it like he was caught in a hamster wheel. Everything seemed to be going fine until the end, when instead of infusing the mix with three drops of tea tree oil, he grabbed the tea flea oil by mistake. I left there attracting the buggers like Santa Claus to a candy cane! (And smelling like a candy cane, too!)
Finally I pulled out all the stops and raided my human family’s stash. I got the citronella candle bucket, the skin-moisturizing bug spray, and even the insect repellent with the forbidden chemical DEET. I was so desperate that I even overcame my terror of the picture of the cat on the box and broke into the family feline’s flea medicine. (Besides, if he’s busy scratching, he won’t be able to chase me, right?) And just in case those evil critters got through, I decided to head itches off at the pass: I’ve got Benadryl, hydrocortisone, and calamine on standby.
So here I sit, covered from muzzle to tail in I don’t even know what! All this gook is rather scratchy, and one whiff by my sniffer tells me that I’m probably a repugnant rodent right now. Do I think this will repel the nasties? When guinea pigs fly! I think I’ll just have to make do with a back scratcher this summer!
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob
After that I yanked one of those super-fine-toothed combs through my fur to pull the little guys out. I don’t think I removed any bugs, but I did end up looking like the rodent version of Tina Turner!
Then one of my hippie hamster friends recommended some essential oils. He blended me a batch of peppermint, thyme, and basil oils and stirred it like he was caught in a hamster wheel. Everything seemed to be going fine until the end, when instead of infusing the mix with three drops of tea tree oil, he grabbed the tea flea oil by mistake. I left there attracting the buggers like Santa Claus to a candy cane! (And smelling like a candy cane, too!)
Finally I pulled out all the stops and raided my human family’s stash. I got the citronella candle bucket, the skin-moisturizing bug spray, and even the insect repellent with the forbidden chemical DEET. I was so desperate that I even overcame my terror of the picture of the cat on the box and broke into the family feline’s flea medicine. (Besides, if he’s busy scratching, he won’t be able to chase me, right?) And just in case those evil critters got through, I decided to head itches off at the pass: I’ve got Benadryl, hydrocortisone, and calamine on standby.
So here I sit, covered from muzzle to tail in I don’t even know what! All this gook is rather scratchy, and one whiff by my sniffer tells me that I’m probably a repugnant rodent right now. Do I think this will repel the nasties? When guinea pigs fly! I think I’ll just have to make do with a back scratcher this summer!
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob
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