Alas: we’ve chewed our way into 2013, and I’ve chewed my way through several pawliday cheese platters over the last several days. (Thanks to all of you who invited me to your New Year’s Eve party, and again, I apawlogize for the bite marks in the brie.)
Squeaking – er, speaking – of bite marks, chew on this: an estimated 45% of Americans made a New Year’s resolution nearly a week ago. And since there’s approximately one rat for every human in these fifty nifty United States, we can estimate that that same number of rats – 315 million – did likewise.
Here are the top 10 ratty resolutions for the New Year:
- Refrain from chewing non-food objects; there are better ways of keeping incisors trimmed.
- Learn something new. Self-application of flea medicine is on the top of my list.
- Travel. Explore sewers in different cities.
- Read more. Popular titles include How to Avoid Mousetraps and The World Encyclopedia of Cheese.
- Listen more; squeak less.
- Lose the cheese belly. Stay fit with daily scuttles on the hamster wheel.
- Improve finances by saving more cheese crumbs.
- Spend more time making a – I mean, with – family.
- Construct a map of the house detailing all the passageways the cat can’t get into.
- Taste a new cheese every week.
As you can see, we rodents have lots to nibble in the New Year.
I hope your 2013 is off to a squeak, and if you’re among the 45% of humans (or rats) who made a resolution, I hope your commitment becomes completion. (If you need a little encouragement, sniff out my blog Rattled Resolutions from 2011.) In the meantime, may your back be furry and your fleas quite few as you scuttle along in this year all new!
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob
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