Flealection 2012

 

Last night, America’s all-important Presidential Flealection 2012 was held, and unlike the mid-term flealections two years ago, this round did not see a great deal of change on the squirrelitical scene. The Burrow of Ratresentatives and Senate saw the swapping of only a few seats between Democrats and Fleapublicans. And though flealection night coverage of the race was a real claw-biter at its outset, media outlets proclaimed President Barack Obama’s victory over challenger Mitt Romney in the 10 o’clock hour, announcing that we’ll be referring to Obama as the Big Cheese for another four years.

Competition in the realm of rodent pawlitics was no less fierce, from vocal rat rants to spirited fleabates to instances where candidrats on both sides ended up putting their paws in their mouths due to their out-of-taste squeaks. Action on the campaign tail was pretty focused, with each candidrat keeping their visits to primarily the rattleground states. Both sides were also criticized for forgetting the purpose of our rat tails — to maintain balance — with their stances leaning so far to the right or left.

Topics like cat population control and cleaner sewers remained on the docket from 2010’s flealection, and new issues were added, such as the cheese shortage currently being experienced by some of our nation’s top dairy states and the promise of the Democrats to put a flea-swatter in every hovel. Economics was also at the forefront of everyone’s mind, conservratives (and especially supporters of the Flea Party movement) still arguing that the trillion cheese-crumb bailout of 2008–2009 simply hasn’t worked. Those in opposition to illegal immigration also made their squeaks heard, channeling the desire of activist Fievel Mousekewitz’s mantra “There are no cats in America!” to come to pass.

In the end, Wrongress has stayed more or less just as it was. (Many in the rodent world are happy to see that they didn’t vote all the rats out of office.) Obama won both the pawpular and the flealectoral vote, sealing the deal on Romney’s loss when he won the rattleground state of Ohio. So congratulations to the president and his fellow Democrats; the Fleapublicans will have to wait another four years.

It seems, at the end of the night, that it’s back to pawlitics as usual.

Keepin’ it squeak,

Bob