Mouse v. Food

 
One of the most popular shows on the Travel Channel right now is “Man v. Food,” in which host Adam Richman travels to a city, explores its local landmarks and samples some of the best eats it has to offer, and culminates in a restaurant’s food challenge in which he must either conquer the gargantuan gastronomic feat before him (most challenges involve either very spicy or very large quantities of food) or else be shamed forever on national television as just another casualty to whatever monstrosity some malevolent chef cooks up.
 
Well we in the rodent world have a bit of a variation on this, “Mouse v. Food,” in which our own slop-eating superhero, Adam Richmouse, visits the dumpsters of various cities’ dining establishments and sees how much garbage he can gobble in a single sitting. And while some of what he eats isn’t of the best quality (it is in the dumpster, after all), our meaty murine can vanquish vast quantities of the vittles he encounters.
 
I’d be really interested to see your Adam and our Adam go nose to nose – er, make that nose to muzzle – in a chow-chomping battle. Finding a restaurant that could accommodate such an event wouldn’t be hard to do, as it’s logical to assume that the places offering these challenges have a lot of trash to throw away as person after person falls victim to the unrelenting food foe before them. And as it pertains to recovering from a spicy food challenge, I think our mouse has quite a significant edge over your man as consuming large quantities of cheese will soothe his tongue-torched taste buds a great deal quicker than a glass of milk will for your guy, as we rodents are accustomed at downing dairy to a greater extent than you humans are.
 
But whether our challengers face off against each other or not, I have great appreciation for those individuals, man and mouse alike, who put their bodies in harm’s way for our rodentertainment. So thanks, Adams both, for your squeaktacular sacrifice, and do be sure to sniff out “Mouse v. Food” on travelchannel.com/stupid.
 
Keepin’ it squeak,
Bob