Oh, it’s unsqueakable! what’s taken up residence in my humans’ house lately! It glares at me through beady black eyes, barring my way from the kitchen, and it’s all I can do not to hide under my nestlet all day!
It’s not enough that they set out mousetraps to catch me. Not enough that they once tried to roast me over an open fire. No! They have to add insult to injury by bring home that – that rat snake!
Sure, you think it’s cute. Staring up at you with its plush pink-and-yellow head, its fuzzy little tail. Well, it mocks me from behind your back, the tag along its spine doing little to slow its speed as it slithers toward me.
How I long for the day the dog comes; he’ll attack his new chew toy with the ferocity of a raging Bubonic Plague! Then, when that rat snake is ratted and drenched in dog drool, I’ll emerge again from my nestlet, avoiding the mousetraps and the fire pit, and sneak back to the kitchen – where a fridge full of cheese awaits me!
Keepin’ it squeak,